Some Catching Up

So court yesterday was a joke, but at least I didn't go to jail! That's always a bonus. I got off super easy if all I'm having to do is pay restitution, really. I mean, sitting there for five hours was punishment enough, right? Anyway. I have to call someone who works for the city with my insurance information tomorrow, and then I'm good till next month. Sounds a little too easy, but we'll see. Maybe I'm just too used to chaos and can't accept a good thing when it comes my way? I didn't get as much done as planned because of how long the whole ordeal took, but I did manage to get enough out of the way before going to court to feel like I hadn't wasted the entire day. Since I woke up so early, I was able to make some important phone calls, clean out the bathroom, do all of my meditation, etc. I didn't get to do my hair, but what's the rush at this point? I mean it's awful already. I also didn't get a chance to get up to the gym to figure out my membership, but again, it's not like I really had the time to work out, so that can be done later. 

I also texted a former coworker this long, drawn out amends that I'm sure wasn't even said properly, and I know I'm not anywhere near a place to be doing such a thing, but I needed to get it off my chest. And if it's coming from a genuine spot in my heart, is it wrong to do? I hate that it was a text and not a phone call or in person, but that way she could open it when she has the time and didn't feel compelled to respond if she didn't want to. In the end, I feel like it did me some good and after going back and forth some (in which I had a lot more presented to me than I remembered or was ever aware of), I feel like there can be real healing there and that gives me hope. 

Aaaaanyway, I need to do these reviews! First up, I'll knock out Safety in Numbers, by Brittany Burgunder, again. It's a memoir of the author's personal struggle with an eating disorder that takes her from one extreme to another, being deathly underweight to morbidly obese, and further proving that weight and intake do not distinguish the severity of the disease. The majority of the book is written in the format of a personal journal that she kept during those years and later condensed to tell a story, with a few photos and further narration strewn throughout. And the quality of the book is just that: it really feels like reading someone's personal thoughts. It's scattered at times and very informal, but sometimes very profound in its simplicity. It's certainly no great American novel, but that's not the point. She bares all of her thoughts and insecurities, and in that it is so refreshing. There's nothing quite like reading something in which every word is so relatable. The best thing about it, however, was when she does begin to work on her recovery, she finally realizes that it's not a straight line and that setbacks do happen, but that's no reason to stop working as hard as possible. The initial downside is how triggering some of the very descriptive rituals and weights are, but it's a very easy read and I highly recommend it to anyone who feels confident enough to tackle such a story.

Immediately after, I picked up Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking. Now, I've been a huge fan of Carrie Fisher my entire life. I first saw Star Wars when I was about six. It and The Empire Strikes Back were recorded on VHS by my mother while she was at sea, and she purchased The Return of the Jedi, and I wore those tapes out. I was ten when The Phantom Menace came out, but that's a whole different story. So back to Carrie Fisher. I wanted to be Princess Leia. Well, really I wanted to be Han Solo but Leia was a close second and made more sense for me to say out loud because I'm a girl and growing up, people might have thought it was weird that I wanted to be the bad boy, but that's neither here nor there. Turns out, they're both the tough characters that I idolized, but in different ways. I followed Carrie Fisher on Twitter for years, and she never failed to make me laugh. I remember watching her on a roast on Comedy Central one time, and thinking, "This woman! Why can't more people be as amazing as her?"I was devastated to hear of her passing while I was in treatment. But about the book. I didn't realize that Wishful Drinking was a show prior to the novelization, but it certainly reads that way. It's definitely more like a long conversation than anything, a very quick and easy read, but funny as hell. Being what it is, I can't really rate it like I would a normal book, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Sunday and Monday I'd been hitting two meetings a night and getting a lot of fellowship in, and today I can finally go to the gym! I'm so excited waiting on my sponsee sister to come and pick me up. It's been far too long. I also really missed all of the ladies in my IOP, and they seemed happy to see me. I get to see some of them again at the meeting tonight, which is awesome. I desperately need to do my hair and fully intended on doing it after the meeting, but I just realized I don't have nearly enough lightener and no way of getting to the supply store, so I guess that'll be put off for another night. Oh well. Also, my plan of refraining from Instagram hasn't gone so well... At least I'm still not on Facebook. That's the real evil. Pictures are one thing, and as long as I'm not scrolling through scoping out who's liking what, I can just go about my business. But on a more serious note, I really need a better URL for this thing! I just can't decide. I've been toying with a few, but none really stick. I've had such lame blog names in the past and I want something good for once. At least it's not like I have a time limit. But back to planning out my first workout of the year. Hope I don't die!